Bleeding Hearts

 The same heart shaped birthmark on her hip was visible; this confirmed it was indeed his first love, Sirena. Kevin wrote down her address on the back of one of the photos. She lived in New York City, but he would not let the distance come between them. His mind was made up the moment her eyes seduced him right through the photograph.  Now he would go to the ends of the earth to see her one more time. Besides Kevin was still in New York, and he had to personally thank him for the excellent job he did. 

As he drove home from another long day at the office, he plotted. He needed to come up with a plausible story to explain an impromptu trip to New York City. His wife Nancy wasn’t naïve.

Antonio looked up at the sky as he waited in traffic. The dark purple skies above him mirrored the storm which was brewing his heart. Storms were unpredictable in this time in the Caribbean, in a moment the glistening sun would retreat and rain would flood down in violent outbursts. Antonio was accustomed to it by now. The rain added an extra twenty minutes to his commute time but he didn’t care. The storm was only the beginning; he still had to face Nancy.

He parked his luxury car in the 3 car garage, and slowly walked up the steps to his home. With each step he took, his legs grew heavier, to the point where he could barely make it up the last two. Nancy waited right by the door, standing in her bath robe, arms crossed against her chest.

“Where have you been? I know it doesn’t take more than an hour to drive home from work!

Tony sighed with frustration he was used to the usual nightly inquisition but tonight he grew frustrated by her accusations. “Is there a day that goes by and I don’t have to hear this nonsense. Nancy please, there was traffic, okay” He walked away without giving her a chance for a rebuttal. Off he went to their bedroom where he began to undress. He neatly placed his dark blue Calvin Klein suit on top of the recliner seat in the room. Nancy followed her husband into the bedroom and continued to work his nerves.

“So that’s what they call it now a days, traffic?” He didn’t bother to respond opting to bring up the trip to New York before he lost his courage. He turned to face his wife and with serious eyes spoke. ‘Nancy I’m afraid I have to leave town tomorrow. It’s sort of important. I have to go to New York to meet with a distributor. I’m sorry I know its last minute an all” Nancy stared at her husband waiting for the punch line but there was none. “You’re joking right? I hope you are kidding?” Nancy’s eyes swelled up with tears and Tony grew confused.  He sat down on their king sized bed and looked up at his petite wife.” Honey, I told you its work, I have to go. Why can’t you trust me for once?”

Nancy sat beside her husband. “You have no idea what day it is tomorrow?” her voice quivered. Silence between them.

“It’s our six year anniversary tomorrow Tony and I can’t believe you didn’t even remember.” Nancy cried with sheer disappointment. Antonio reached out to embrace his wife but she jumped up and walked to the other side of the bed.  How could he be so stupid and forget. He felt lousy

His vacant eyes stared at the rug on the floor of their bedroom, unaware of time, unaware of his surroundings any longer.

 “I, I, I…………,” His mouth couldn’t form a complete sentence?  It was the picture. He took it out of his pocket and smoothed out the wrinkles. Antonio turned slightly and looked over my shoulder. Nancy still sat hovered on a corner of the bed with her back to him. Her silent cries unnerved him yet he did nothing to stop them. She was right, he was a creep. A filthily liar, those words stung like poisonous venom. 

Antonio had promised to continue seeing the marriage therapist and he really wanted to but the moment he saw the picture all bets where off.

 He reached out to embrace his wife and tell her he still loved her but he couldn’t. His arm stood suspended in mid air.  Poor Nancy, his wife of six years, she meant nothing when compared to his first love. She had no idea her husband had hired a PI to find this woman. If she knew all of this she would be at the attorney’s office filing for divorce but she didn’t know and therefore she still had hope their marriage would survive.

Antonio sat quietly and stared at her picture. He clutched his heart, the pain was unbearable. The pain of knowing he was purposely hurting his wife and the pain of seeing the face of the woman his heart longed for over the years, and she wasn’t dead she was alive.

“Sniff, sniff” Nancy was sobbing again and Tony cringed; now he felt like a callous monster. He reached into the nightstand and pulled out a tissue. Without facing her he placed in the middle of the bed. He knew it was a small gesture but it was a start for him.  He twirled his platinum ring around his finger, the ring, the constant reminder of his unending love for his wife. He took a deep breath, more like a sigh. Tony had a choice to make, stay there with his wife on the day of the anniversary of find his first love in New York City

Antonio booked the first flight out the next morning. It was their six year anniversary and she had made plans for them. This was her last attempt of saving their marriage and if he refused there will be nothing to salvage. Antonio felt bad but he knew that he had to go New York City and see her. His obsession for her had resurfaced. The same obsession he had as a boy. It wasn’t healthy then and it wasn’t healthy now. But he knew he was no longer in control of neither his emotions nor his actions. She had that effect on him which is why he vowed to never see Sirena again but now it was too late. He had seen her face and the fire in his heart was lit.

His wife begged and pleaded with Antonio to postpone his business trip and he wanted nothing more but to oblige to her request. He fought with himself all night and tried to convince himself not to go. He loved his wife so why was it so hard to cancel his trip to New York. He didn’t pack a thing his conscious wouldn’t let him but ultimately he decided to go for one day and return the next day. He then could spend time with his wife upon his return, if it wasn’t too late. But it was too late for she warned him if he walked out the door it was over. For a second he thought he would stay but he was a feen and he needed his fix. His addiction to Sirena was stronger than his love for his wife and so with much shame and sorrow in his heart he left.  Antonio knew that if he didn’t find her and see her once again he couldn’t move forward.